I'm sorry but I'm going to have to agree with writerwannabe on this. It was rather short and there was no major advancement of the plot. Amy's plight was delved into but it didn't take the story anywhere. Other than the plot problems, the story was fabulously written. You're grammar is a hell of a lot better than mine, haha.

Very well done. There are quite a few possibilities with this setup and it could go anywhere. The pace of the story was was great and it left off with a good revelation to the story.

Welcome aboard! I like your work in the contest so you're off to a good start. Keep it up man.

Thank you very much for taking the time to explain that to everyone. I know we're all on here bitching about scores but it's just frustrating that we're getting tanked without an explanation. Kudos.

Let's just revolt and start our own writing site. We'll always be #1 (I say in a cheerleader voice)!!!! You're lucky that you get to hang out in the bottom ranks with cool people people like me, hahaha.

Your name is Cheeseliker, hahahahaha. That's awesome! Damn, I need some sleep. I've posted nothing useful today at all, haha.

My son can't even talk yet so I wouldn't have to worry about any of this, haha. But I see what you're saying; being in state of delerium drastically alters someone's judgement. And don't worry about writing sophisticated. Just get your point across in a way that feels comfortable to you yet you're proud of. The woman that won the first contest writes in a very classic lit kind of way and that works for her. Aggeloi writes in an epic, medieval-story fashion and I write crap about people stapled to walls. How you write is perfectly fine; don't write in a way that you aren't comfortable just to impress people.
P.S.-Yeah, we all need all the help we can get with the scores. We're all getting shot down pretty bad, haha.

There were a few grammatical errors in there so you should really proofread. It did remind quite a bit of the Brothers Karamazov in its way of touching the human soul and questioning everything we believe. The piece's obvious lack in length leaves a profound effect on the reader. Woohoo! I'm a smartass too!

What cracks me up is that this piece is still in the contest standings. Wendyboop, Aggeloi, and I are getting raped by whiny-titty-babies and this piece actually has a score higher than a 1, haha. Hmmmm, the smell of justice...it's like armor-all in a porsche on a hot day.

Oh yeah, she should have shot the kid and then made a pie out of him. And it's never told how old Ms. B is any of the stories (just came to me). If she's been floating through 16+ towns and has already been married with a kid, I don't know how successful a middle aged biddy going through menopause will be at street walking.

I'm with you on the second point but this story is teetering on that thin line between suspense and horror. If it ends up just being suspense then it's questionable but if it's horror, logic won't really apply to the situation. Judging by some horror done today, Ms. B could end being chased by cyclopean clowns with potato guns. I really doubt wendyboop would right that, though, haha. But that would be damn funny.

"Be a Mormon" haha. I really liked the pace of the story; there really weren't any stalls but it didn't rush me through it. You did a good job making it seem that she is isolated in the town and on her own. Great job.