Discussion of "On the Wright Track" by honeygloom

this sounds a bit like everything, hate me for saying it. jack kerouac is a great writer, but i am not trying to be him thanks you for relating me to a good author. typos smiypos, ever read allan ginesberg writing on how actual form without editing.

You asked for comments and I gave you my opinion. You don't have to like it, but if you are going to be on a forum like this you need to have a thick skin. No one says you have to agree with what I say. I'm no expert, I just told you what I felt. My personal opinion is that English is a beautiful language (its rules included) and to expose its nuances it needs to be used properly. Again, I'm not at all saying that I'm perfect and I know for a fact that I have stories here with mistakes. Art, in all its forms, thrives on different opinions and different views. And that is a good thing. Our views on what makes good fiction obviously differ. Ginsberg's idol was William Blake, so he obviously understood language and understood how powerful it could be when the rules were followed. Just like Pablo Picasso learned how to paint classically before he experimented with cubism, Ginsberg knew how to use English properly. These were men who understood the rules and understood how to break them artistically. And their deviation from the norm was more than artistic whimsy, they had social and political reasons for using art the way they did. Even from your response above, all I can infer is that you don't know your own language well and use Ginsberg as your crutch.
From now on I won't vote or comment on your writing.

And, for the record, On the Wright Track, is just for fun. I wasn't hoping to win a Nobel Prize with it.

I dident think your story was bad, just rattling your chain, yes we all mess up spelling words. as well it was just for fun. when you write a comment say that you sound like jack, on crack. Just because i mispell words, i read more books then you have ever touched, more religions,
more sybolism and defintions then you have ever bothered to look up. defined define. I went to art school for 2 years, obviously never read alan ginesbergs writing on true form, yes he was a amazing writer, college educated. true form means you misspell you continue, every thought written regardless of sequence and meaning, sense. cant telll me all alan ginesbergs writing was understandable and compehensible. if you try you never read his work. diffrent opinions..

I've read Ginsberg, I just can't see how being totally incomprehensible is all that useful besides maybe making you look like an erudite... well, I can't think of a polite noun to put here. And, speaking of the real world, it doesn't matter how many books you've read or words you've looked up, if you can't communicate, no one will take you seriously. But I suppose artists don't care about that. Not being one, I wouldn't understand

Incidentally, what authors do you like besides Ginsberg? Have you read Thomas Mann, Dostoyevsky, what about Grace Paley or Herman Hess?

Oh, or what about Mario Vargas Llosa, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, or Sherman Alexie? David Sedaris? Maybe you're more of a Henry Miller fan? Please, I'm very curious.

Oh, and also, this is from Sunflower Sutra (by Ginsberg), notice, it makes sense:

"I walked on the banks of the tincan banana dock and sat down under the huge shade of a Southern
Pacific locomotive to look at the sunset over the
box house hills and cry.
Jack Kerouac sat beside me on a busted rusty iron
pole, companion, we thought the same thoughts
of the soul, bleak and blue and sad-eyed,
surrounded by the gnarled steel roots of trees of
machinery."

I Rest in Peace:)

love dostoyevsky, my favorite is henery miller, leo tolstoy,creative evoultion by henery bergison, like jack kerouac, socraties death/ court trial, dialoge of plato,love faust, german poets, greek mytholigy, the jungle by upton sinclair,william golding, william blake, william shakespear, reading tropic of the cancer. adore ray bradburry, heard of herman hess yet to read, never heard of thomas man or grace paley, my top favorite 3, tropic of the capicorn, chatcher in the rye, the bridge across forever. at times i am writing incomprehensible, not editing, making a true direction, feelings, abstract writing....
my opinion is some of the best writing was in simplest form. I like to hear opinion's what it made you think, many people say my writing is great, some say its bad.

Well, I'm glad you're back. I guess maybe we'll have to agree to disagree (pardon the cliche). Thomas Mann is great, I recommend the short story collection Death in Venice. I'll bet you'll like the Starvelings, it's one of my favorites...

Good chap' Honey! I really like how this is developing... the chapters are moving from character to character and staying in line with the progression of the story...! You eluded to more of this character (Wright) and pushed the story forward very well. It's like an unfolding and I'm really excited about this particular mash. You are clearly one of the most talented writers on SM. voted this one a 4 (and only because you write so damn well that I was disappointed there wasn't more of it...lol!) Can't wait to read more from you.

Ha! I love it. Short and sweet.
Great call on the tracking device.
Should create some interesting developments as I think Egg has a plan for the body.
I also like the protégé angle. Cool!
But most of all…I love the follow up comments.
Don’t mess with honeygloom! :-

oh, and agree with C-Foo...you are wildly talented.

Thanks Foo and Eleven! I had a feeling the body had a purpose:)I just can't wait to see what it is... and how Wright handles it.
Sorry, it's so short. I always pick the worst moments to sit down and write.
And for the record, I am having a blast writing this with you two. You are both amazing writers yourselves and are making this so much fun.

As for HFW. I suppose I probably deserve him/her being a little ticked at me. I'm not always.. um, diplomatic. I think "Time Were Here" is the story his comments are referring to.

Yea, well...I happen to think you handled yourself very well in retort to HFW's comments (as illegible as they were..:) Very educated and diplomatic if you ask me. And anyway, critisism isn't supposed to be personal...but objective. The art, not the artist, right?
At least your coherent.
uh-hem..anyway--having a little cocktail (or two or five) and I'm re-reading the story from beginning to present chapter (with a lil' buzzzzzz) and DAMN! This is really good stuff. Let's keep the ball rollin'...
Dog, I do believe yer up...:)

Might take me a few days to add to it. Every Monday I have to come to this other place…where I have…um, work to do and stuff. And they make me come back here every day of the week until Friday! Thankfully they give me some money for doing it…or else I wouldn’t be able to buy intoxicating liquids and salty potato chips. Yum.
In the meantime...feel free to keep adding chapters! I agree, this is not just fun...but its actually pretty interesting. Like reading a good book and you can’t wait for the next chapter...then realizing you can WRITE the next chapter. How cool!
I love the fact that even as a writer you have no idea what’s going to happen next. I have ideas…then with each new chapter, those ideas change with the flow of the storyline. Keeps everything so fresh. Creative collaboration at its best.
Of course, it helps that you two both ROCK!

You should have to write your To Do list anyway before you add to this enigma we've created. I am very anxiously awaiting that list:)