Discussion of "Chapter One - Family Vacation" by dawn_land

What an excellent start and such fluid well written detail I can only assume you write this with the intention of something mashing it because I found it utterly anticlimactic and when finished found myself a little annoyed! :P Kinda wish you woulda wrapped up the story but I'm sure you have an excellent plan in mind for such a rough gem. Keep me updated. Giving it a 3 because you pissed me off by building me up and letting me down :P