Discussion of "The Host- Chapter Two" by crystalfoo

CFoo - one of these days, I'll go back and read all the stuff you've churned out. Your style is effortless and you deserve kudos for maintaining the feel of the mcclain chapter. I'd've thought the same author wrote both. Quite a compliment.

Good foreshadowing with Ben; I don't yet know what he knows, but [without knocking me senseless with the obvious] he's onto something.

I am, however, perturbed at the hanger. Yes, the scenario is grandiose. (I expected the banquet to have tainted food somehow - good line about the champagne vanishing while the coffee remained untouched.) The characters are establishing distinct, developed traits. But the "I have a secret that will change everything" (paraphrased) didn't ring as true. Maybe it's more a period piece, but that sounds noir-er than the rest of the chapter. Cue the soap opera dah-dah-DAH! organ.

I have a tendency to write decent scenes that don't go anywhere - kind of a self-serve without pushing a story forward. I'm not sure how this progressed. I love your style, I thoroughly enjoy your writing, but I missed that particular boat.

In the interest of transparency, I voted for this chapter and I gave it a 4.

Well thank you for all the wonderful compliments, Nash. And damn it if you aren't dead on about he cliff hanger ending. I knew it sounded cheesy when I wrote it; I have the same tendency as you, so it seems...my big prob is that I write chapters that sound good but sometimes don't really move the story along. I was consciously trying to do just that. uggghhh! :) maybe the next chapter could start out, "Nah, just kidding folks! So, the real reason you are all here...." lol. Thanks again for the vote, the compliments and the critique.

Crystalfoo--

WOW! This was really good. I would say this is one of the best chapters I've read. Kudos.

--R.J.