Discussion of "Becoming a Man-Chapter 2; The Shooter" by crystalfoo

Thanks for the mash! Really cool follow up chapter...you totally took it in a different direction and thats awesome!
Nice writing.

Thanks! I am really digging this site...it's like theraputic free writing. Thought your story was pretty unique...makes it fun to follow up! Great job!

Well done following the language and tone, though yours feels slightly less raw and anxious than dog's. Major credit for making a shift that didn't feel forced. I'm a bit intimidated to mash on something that was so universally acclaimed thus far. Way to step up to the plate and crack a stand-up triple.

Why the (asterisk indicated) change of scenes?

I enjoyed the whole story up to the last line. It conveyed the cliffhanger without writing it. That much said, it was a good, tense read. Keep up the quality work.

In the interest of transparency, I voted on your story and I gave it a 4.

Excellent follow up to a perfect story. Ballsy, like N'ville said. I thought you got home on an overthrow at third, though.

Great mash chapter! Loved the curve in the storyline. I gave you a 4.

Thanks. This was my first mash! now I'm hooked. :) I appreciate everyone reading and taking time to discuss and vote!