Discussion of "The Androids Ballet" by clockworkgirl

I love this! What a great premise for a story! Science, ego, and (I would assume, otherwise where's the story?)colossal failure. Nice work!

Thank you! I think it will be fun to see where it goes. :)

Excellent, a story I am truly interested in reading about, I hope you continue it soon.

I am sorry, I just noticed you have continued it!

Welcome, clockworkgirl. I cast a vote of 3 stars for this- to be clear, for the plot.
Your execution, however, needs some fine tuning: There are a few errors in spelling and punctuation, and you've included some unncessary dialogue tags. The introduction promises results "tonight," but you conclude the chapter in the past. Finally, it's a bit short. Also, the ending paragraph seems a little rushed. If I were Simonson (or Evens, for that matter,), having just made this exciting wager with my colleague and friend, I wouldn't feel inclined toward social avoidance. Their deal-striking exchange said nothing to me, as the reader, of hostility or even civilized contempt.
It might have helped to have one (or a few,) of the other silently attending colleagues chime in with their two cents, thereby allowing either a later appearance or even a bit of prematurely served red herring. Just an opinion...

I want to reiterate the fact that I really like the plot! I also enjoy the vague setting of time. Might be the future, or maybe not. Please continue; welcome again.

I really like the premise here- will have to read the continuance- great starting point- a lot of drunken bets lead to much, much more!
Chloe

I love the idea behind this, unique and symbolic a cocktail for success to be sure. However I do agree with inuitennui on the dialog point and the shortness of the story. I can't wait to read more. 3.5 stars overall.