I did everything I could, but I lost her.
                Right before my eyes - the love of my life, my future, my world, my reason for living - gone, in a matter of minutes.  It's a date that will be lodged painfully in my memory for the rest of my life.  September 14th, 2000.  I'm not too sure of the day, though.  What day it was doesn't really matter now anyway.  Nor did it matter then.  I don't think I had school that day.  If I did, then I was absent.  School wasn't important to me then.  The only thing on my mind was Marie.  Being with her, holding her, spending every second of every minute of every hour of every day with her.  Going back now, I'll start with my first clear memory of that day.  A phone call I got from Marie around 3:00 or 4:00 P.M.
                "You comin' over?" she asked.  Her voice, soft and sweet as ever.
                "Yeah.  As soon as my mom gets home." I replied, wishing it would be soon.  We talked awhile longer, and as my mom pulled in I told Marie that I loved her and that I was on my way over.
                I don't know how to explain it, but on my way to Marie's I had this vague feeling that something was going to change.  Almost like I was driving down these roads to this destination for the last time, and I felt a sense of urgency to make the best of this day because tomorrow would be different.  I felt this, but pushed it away and ignored it.
                I pulled into Marie's driveway.  Her mom was at work, and she had no siblings.  It was just us.  We greeted each other, kissed and hugged.  I remember that she was wearing this silky, short dress.  It was black, matching her deep black hair, and amazing dark eyes.  She was just beautiful.  I put my hands around her waist.  I remember how the silky fabric slid delicately over the smooth, soft, bare skin underneath.  I held her.  Again, that feeling came back, and I felt as if I were losing her.  I didn't want to let go.  I didn't know where the feeling was coming from, or why I was feeling like this, but it was starting to scare me.
                "What's wrong?" Marie asked, sensing something was on my mind.
                "Nothin'." I lied, "You know I'd tell you if there was."
                "Yeah, but you just seemed a little distant there for a second."
                "Marie?"
                "Hmm?"
                "I love you."
                "I love you, too." she said, "Let's go in."
                We watched T.V. for awhile, then Marie decided she was hungry and was going to cook us some grilled cheese sandwiches.  I teased her about mine being burnt, cooking wasn't her talent, but I ate it anyway.  A couple hours had passed and I felt like getting out.
                "Wanna go for a walk and get some ice cream?" I asked.
                "Yeah, let's do that." she smiled at me.
                We left and started down state route 310.  It was still pretty bright out, no clouds, no wind, and around 70 degrees.  A perfect day.  The Dairy Queen was about a fifteen to twenty minute walk.  We've walked there countless times before, but this time there was that weird feeling with me that this was the last time.  I tried to ignore it.
                We got there, and I bought her a strawberry shortcake.  Her favorite.  I had nothing, which wasn't really unusual, so Marie never made mention of it.  I had lost my appetite worrying about these feelings I was having.  I told myself this was stupid, it was just like any other day, I'm just too insecure.  That's all.
                Marie finished eating and we headed back. I still felt like I was losing her.
                Walking back from Dairy Queen there are some two-story apartments on the left side of the road.  The side we walk on.  That day, as we were approaching these apartments, we could hear screams and shouts of anger coming from them.  It sounded like there were a few people arguing, yelling, and screaming at each other.  I heard two different male voices, and a female voice.  I could also hear things breaking and shattering, as if being thrown or pushed over.
                Marie was to my left, closest to the apartments.  She stopped, looking into the window which was about thirty or fourty feet away.  I stopped a little ahead of her and was about to say something like "Who cares, let's go." when suddenly I heard a shot.  I saw the window shatter, then I heard a scream.  Not just any scream, but Marie's scream. 
                I looked at her, staring, bewildered, not registering what had happened.  She fell to the ground, moaning.  I knelt beside her, trying to figure out what to do.  The bullet had entered her left side.  I saw the blood rushing out of her.  I told her (myself) that it would be alright.  I screamed for help. Some people ran out of the apartments and said they had called 911.  I was trying to assure Marie (myself) that she would be OK, an ambulance was coming.
                I kept chanting to myself, "Please, if there is a God.  Please make her be alright. Please don't let her die.  Please don't let her die."
                I kissed her and told her I loved her.  She was cold, and breathing in struggled gasps.  Her blood was all over my hands, arms, and clothes.  She kept trying to speak, but couldn't.
                I heard the ambulance coming, and thats when her eyes rolled back, closed, and her breathing stopped.  I cried.  It all happened so fast, it was so unreal.  It's still hard to believe it happened, but everything reminds me of it. 
                Including the nightmares I have now.
                In them, everything is in slow motion.  The window shatters.  I see the bullet slowly heading towards Marie.  It's so slow, I just know I can stop it!  But I can't move.  I just watch it get closer.  Closer.  Closer.  Knowing, fearing, dreading what is about to happen.  After what seems like an eternity, it reaches her.  First making a small depression in her side, then the fabric of her dress singes and tears.  The bullet rips through her flesh, her body swallows it.  Blood pours out, no longer in slow motion, and into my face and suddenly I find myself in a sea of blood.  Drowning.
                I wake up terrified, crying.
                I miss her.