Discussion of ""Searching"" by ahernandez8313

This is really good. I can't believe more people haven't voted. You've developed a good voice. keep it up.

pretty cool.
great set-up for a quality mash.

Very interesting kick off. Something like Toby experienced would have me falling out of my chair and thinking I'd better lay off the nyquil cocktails. I agree, very cool

This pulled me in... I had to add on to the end, but I am thinking of going another direction as well from the end of this chapter..

Ok I read this and it's fundamentally entertaining, and the end is a pretty good hook and pull for the next chapter.