Discussion of "Jakob's Run" by TornConcious
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TornConcious 7 months, 2 weeks ago
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My first chapter, hope you enjoy. |
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The--maggot 7 months, 2 weeks ago
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very nice :) hope you add more! |
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TornConcious 7 months, 2 weeks ago
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Thank you |
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lamexicanita86 7 months, 2 weeks ago
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It has promise. This is quite an action-packed beginning. You could tighten it up quite a bit by replacing the "to be" verbs and making the descriptions more concise. |
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TornConcious 7 months, 2 weeks ago
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Thank you for your input :) |
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