Discussion of "Elderin: Prologue" by TornConcious

Short and sweet, just an opening for a long story I am writing.

I like this alot so far, you did a nice job of building the suspense!

Thank you

IDK, I'm a biggie on dialogue. I think you might be able to incorporate more, and use it to tell the story for you--that way you won't need as much narration.

I liked it though.

jlawson, this is simply a prologue to establish an extremely important part in Hayden's past, there will be quite a deep story later on. Thank you for the input though!